The advice used to be to avoid talk of politics and former relationships on early dates, but now many favor putting it all out there from the beginning.Agape Match’s Avgitidis says that dating sites have seen a big uptick in people noting their political preferences on their profiles.“It opens up a kind of flirty dialogue of like, ‘You can pay for the next date,’ ” he says.Manley is on the same page, but his reasoning is more economical: “Guys still [usually] make more money than women, so they should offer to pay, regardless of whoever asked out whom,” he says.“I have a more masculine energy, so I usually pay on the first date,” she says.One of the first times Foltz took the initiative and asked a guy out, it went really well. “It ended up being one of the most romantic experiences of my life.” She believes making the first move gave the man a helpful confidence boost.“There’s a sort of New Age chivalry about that.” Unfortunately, the rule seems even less clear for those in the LGBT community, says Morningside Heights resident and comedian Stephanie Foltz, who is bisexual.Foltz, 29, says it can be tricky, but that gender norms are still at play.
But such shenanigans are now considered passé, given how we’re all constantly looking at our smartphones.
“Sometimes guys are afraid, too.” And with the advent of dating apps such as Bumble, which require women to make the first move to avoid online harassment, it’s not only common for women to initiate a date, it’s increasingly expected.
“There are definitely guys who would be really into a woman taking charge like that,” says Manley.
“Now we’ve given ourselves permission to talk about these things, so it’s becoming a lot more common for people to [even] talk about their exes,” she says.
Last-minute offers used to mean you were a second choice, and the advice was to save face and your self-respect by saying, “Nope.” But with the ability to find a potential match now sped up to the nth degree, that rule has been turned on its head.“[Texting] is a great way to flirt, maybe give them a taste of who you are,” says dating coach Chrisler.