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We’ve been at this business of art for nearly six years, which means we’ve said a thing or two about a thing or two: like how to be a queer woman who meets, desires and romances women or otherwise-identified humans out there.So we thought it’d be cool to compile a Lesbian Dating 101 for you, comprised of all the fantastic how-to guides we’ve published over the last many moons.

Remember your first time getting on the chairlift or—gasp of humiliation! However, if your goal is to spread as much snow as possible on your neighbor’s walk and passing pedestrians, then your zombie boyfriend is ready, willing and able (yes, able! There are few things zombies love more than moving snow around with a shovel and they can do it with surprising dexterity. A zombie doesn’t so much clear the sidewalk as make an absolute mess of it. And while you’re keeping warm this winter, don’t forget to snuggle up with a dating adventure from my cub reporter days before I became the undead-dating experts you know and love! Tags: advice, fun, relationships, skiing, sledding, snow, winter, zombie dating, zombies Sure, you’re deep in the love bubble with your rottie hottie now, but it hasn’t always been this way. When I started my journalism career as a cub reporter (er, intern) for the the last thing I expected was to one day write the definitive how-to for meeting and dating zombies. The pleasures of a new relationship are many, even with a zombie boyfriend, and it’s easy to close yourself off in your own little love bubble. Although the love bubble feels like a reassuringly warm and lovely cocoon, it’s in fact a treacherous place to be. At that moment, you’ll look around for your friends and they won’t be there.To be fair, this one actually is true: Zombies can’t find the clitoris—at least, not on their own.Like the majority of human males throughout history, zombies are oblivious to the charms of this sensitive little nub.That’s right, girl guides, even succumbed to the magical thinking that affected so many of our mothers, who believed the H1Z1 virus would naturally run its course and turn our fathers back into the nurturing human beings they’d mostly been. But that doesn’t have to be you, weeping alone in a dark corner, uncomforted by the warm hug of caring friends. But the risk of limb detachment isn’t the number one reason the zombie love of your life won’t offer to hold the door for you. This might sound discouraging but take heart: Your boyzomb hasn’t thought of anything in years.

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You can overcome the lure of the love bubble by following one simple rule: girls before ghouls. His mind is a gloppy stew of decayed dendrites, atrophied axons and neutered neurons.) Without any further ado, here you go: Hey anyone want a little girl-on-girl culture … Well you’re not gonna get any if you don’t have your pants on. Have you gotten over the giant hurdle of learning how to meet people/women? Are you developing irrational jealousy towards people who are having sex while also feeling stressed out and tense when you think about finding a hookup of your own?

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