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I met my fellow grinders in restaurants, in bars, in coffee shops, and on park benches; we had drinks in sunshine, tea at night.There were the bland guys; the guys who made endless plans, then stood me up; the guys who met up with me just to see if I really was a reporter, then stared as if I were a penguin at the Central Park Zoo.So a whole dumb show would ensue, in which we silently gestured at each other across the café or bar—first quizzically, then in some weird, fake recognition, as if, oh, how we went back, such memories, and things like that. It's a mad ambition, and I had no idea if Blendr would work.Then I would get to the point and ask him what in the hell this app really was. Is this the way straight men and women—especially straight women—want to meet and mate?

Even in Chats, almost everyone eventually asked me if I was gay.Grinding is less a pastime than a palm-sized addiction. Grinders spend an average of ninety minutes on the app every day—and not just in one session. In my experience, that's an unrealistic number. I never wanted to get to the neurotic stage where I logged on while walking around, so I made a point of doing less walking around. My theory was that Tops took it as a challenge, whereas Bottoms seemed to feel they'd already come up short in our imagined duel of wits, and that was good enough for them.It is also standard practice among grinders to steer clear of certain red flags.The ladies certainly wouldn't treat Chat the same way; they'd be euphemistic and vaguely lyrical (I hoped) while the males were doing something close to grunting. From a female standpoint, that might be seen as one romantic step away from being spirited into a van.

Less darkly, what happened to the good old dinner party, the comically bad set-up date, the meet-cute fender bender? I'd soon learn that grinders weren't always bathroom-trysting and Rusty Tromboning and doing Japanese nose-torture on each other.

Are you feeling the urgent need to hump someone in the general vicinity in the next seventeen minutes? Thanks to an ingenious GPS-based app called Grindr, gay men have been hooking up with other guys by whipping out their phones when they're horny. In an effort to divine the answer, Marshall Sella wades into the new world of "location-based" love The mechanics of it were simple.

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